Hey Shorty Cakes

Pumpkin is one of those things that as soon as it gets a little chilly out, you can’t help but crave it. It’s also one of those things that can be a little bit too much. I know a lot of people, myself included, who claim to like pumpkin pie. But once you place a slice in front of them, they’ll take one bite and then be over it. I know that I need a whole lot of whipped cream if I’m going to make it all the way through a single slice. Still, I won’t say I dislike it. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

Anyways, that’s why I have a penchant for pumpkin muffins. These muffins especially are very light on the pumpkin flavor, which I think we’ll all have to agree is a good thing. But they still offer that hint of spice that we all crave when autumn rolls around. So, just in case you didn’t get enough pumpkin this weekend…

Pumpkin Muffins

Preheat the over to 350 degrees. Take 1 ½ cups whole wheat flour, 1 cup all purpose flour, 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice and 1 ¼ teaspoons baking powder and sift together. Place to the side. In a slightly larger bowl, combine 2 cups sugar with 1 cup of canned pumpkin, ½ cup vegetable oil and 2 eggs. Then slowly mix in the dry ingredients. Fill up your lined muffin pan. For the topping, use your hands to crumble together a ½ cup of brown sugar, 2 tablespoon flour, ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon, ½ stick chilled butter and 1 tablespoon of maple syrup. Top each muffin with a generous helping of the topping (it’s the best part, after all). Bake for 30 minutes. Makes 18 muffins.

Being a quarter Asian, I have an affinity for certain Asian foods. In particular, I enjoy bubble tea. You know what I’m talking about, right? In the malls? Well, if you’re still scratching your head, it’s a chilled milk tea with giant black tapioca pearls in the bottom that you suck up through the oversized straw with the tea. You get to chew your drink! No? Not your thing? Doesn’t matter. The point of my story and the recipe is that these same bubble tea places also offer taro-flavored smoothies.

Taro is a root vegetable similar to a sweet potato that tastes astonishingly similar to Fruity Pebbles. It was this fact alone that sold my WASP-y boyfriend when I told him he should try it. Since that fateful day, he’s been obsessed with taro smoothies. So much so, that whenever we go on a date night to the movies, I have to make sure my purse is large enough to smuggle in an upright, open topped smoothie cup.

On one date night, we rushed inside the mall to grab a taro smoothie before they closed and then had to rush back outside to the movie theatre. As John speed-walked, smoothie in hand, some guy passing us said, “Look at this smoothie guy.”

Needless to say, for John’s birthday this year, a let my Asian flag fly and churned out some taro cupcakes with cheese cream icing. Fruity Pebble goodness.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Take 2 and 3/4 cups flour, 1 cup sugar, 2/3 cup taro root powder (which I bought from Amazon – you can find anything on Amazon…) and 1 tablespoon baking powder and combine in a large bowl. Next, add 12 tablespoons softened butter and mix until the batter is crumbly. I used my hands – it seemed to make the most sense. After washing your hands, add 4 egg whites, one at a time, thoroughly mixing after each one. Then add 1 whole egg and 1 tablespoon vegetable oil. In a separate small bowl, take 1 cup milk (I used 1% because it was all I had, but I can use any milk with much difference to the cake.) and add 1 teaspoon vanilla extract. Add this mixture to the batter and mix until smooth. Scoop into 2 muffin pans with liners. Makes 24 cupcakes. Bake for 15 minutes.

While the cakes are baking, take 10 tablespoons softened butter and 16 oz cream cheese and beat together with a hand mixer until combined. Add 3 cups powdered sugar and 4 teaspoons vanilla extract. Refrigerate until the cakes are cool enough to frost. 

My family celebrated my grandmother’s 70^th birthday last weekend, and the dinner celebration also turned into the big meeting aka introducing the boyfriend. Introducing the boyfriend to the family can be a traumatizing experience. For me, at least. I wasn’t worried that they wouldn’t like him, in fact, I’m pretty sure they like him more than they like me now. Our goodbye sentiments went something like this:

“You better treat him right,” my grandmother said. “Don’t screw this up.”

“I know, I know. Thanks, Mom-mom.”

“No. Seriously.”

No, the reason it’s troubling for me is that my family tends to move fast and hypothetically marries me off to any guy who blinks an eye at me, scaring off all potential suitors. Too many conversations were started at dinner that night with “when you have babies.” I wanted to hide under the table, but my boyfriend handled it better than I did. (See aforementioned quote.)

Now, he is very likeable, of course, BUT I believe the reason for him pulling ahead of me in the favorite grandchild race is the fact that he made my grandmother cookies. Nutella hazelnut toffee cookies. And I stand by the fact that if you have some good first impressions to make, bring these cookies, and you’ll definitely beat everyone else in the “favorite person” competition.

Nutella Hazelnut Toffee Cookies

Take 3 cups plus 3 tbsp unbleached white flour, ½ tsp salt, 1 tsp baking soda, and 1 tsp baking powder and combine in a medium sized bowl. Place to the side. In a larger bowl, beat together 1 cup unsalted butter, 2 eggs, 2 cups packed brown sugar, 2 tsp pure vanilla extract, and 1 cup Nutella. Now add the dry mix. Finally, fold in 4 oz of a Heath bar chopped up and 1 cup of toasted and chopped hazelnuts. Spoon onto a parchment covered cookie sheet in 1 inch balls, flatten slightly. Bake at 325 degrees for 10 minutes or until golden brown. Makes 4 dozen.

There’s something about a road trip that screams “muffins” to me. Maybe because they travel so well and they’re filling, so you don’t have to make so many pit stops. Or maybe I’m just obsessed with muffins and any excuse to make a large quantity of them is good enough for me.

This go-round though, I decided to try something new and baked a savory muffin. Not only do I adore muffins, but I also believe in the power of breakfast. Pretty much the only thing that can get me out of bed in the morning is the promise of something warm and buttery. And I never feel guilty about indulging at breakfast, since I have the whole day ahead of me to burn it off. Besides, didn’t you ever hear that people who eat breakfast are generally skinnier? Just a little nutrition knowledge, from me to you.

Ham & Cheddar Muffins

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Take 1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour and combine with 1 cup yellow cornmeal, 2 tablespoons of sugar, 2 teaspoons of baking soda, 1 teaspoon salt, and ½ teaspoon of red pepper flakes. In a smaller bowl, mix 1 ¼ cup buttermilk with 1 stick of melted salted butter and 3 large eggs. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredient mixture, and add the wet ingredients. Mix only to combine. Avoid overmixing. Next, fold in 3 ounces of shredded cheddar cheese, 1 whole bunch of chopped green onions, ½ can of drained canned corn, and 2 ounces of chopped lean ham. Spoon into a greased or lined muffin pan and bake for 23 minutes. Yield: 18 muffins.

This past weekend, I had to say goodbye to the store that gave me my first job.  After years of peddling discount surf gear, they finally closed their doors, putting many people who I consider family out of a job. So, of course we had to celebrate with a dance party in the emptied store.

Like so many other random get-togethers we’ll all attend in our lifetime, it was one of those things where I felt obligated to bring food. But in my small retail family, there are two cupcake mavens: my friend, Cherise, and myself. So it always comes down to “who’s bringing dessert?” While we still inevitably ended up with too much food and too many cakes, I decided to bow out of this one and instead brought my trusty party standby when cupcakes are not an option: guacamole.

But have no fear, I still manage to crack open the oven, even when I’m making something that requires nothing more than mashing things together. Homemade pita chips are the true stars of the guacamole and chip duo. However, I don’t make my own pita. I mean, come on, we aren’t all Martha Stewart.

Sweet & Spicy Guacamole

Take ¼ cup of chopped red onion and toss into a medium sized bowl with 2 heaping tablespoons of chopped cilantro, 1 teaspoon sea salt, and the juice of one lime. Mix together. Take 4 avocados, slice in half and remove the pits. Save 2 of the pits. Scoop into the bowl. Mash it all up. Now fold in 2 diced, small Roma tomatoes, 2 small orange baby bell peppers, and 1 large Jalapeno pepper with seeds and ribs intact (for the heat!). Garnish with a few sprigs of cilantro and chopped tomatoes. Leave the two leftover pits in the bowl to retain the bright green color.

Pita Chips

Take 1 package of round pita pockets and split each pita pocket into two flat pieces. Slice each pita into wedges. Spread evenly on a baking sheet. Drizzle generously with olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt. Bake at 350 degrees for 5-10 minutes or until they start to brown and crinkle at the edges.

As a once “semi-professional” baker, I take pride in making things from scratch. However, the “semi” added with the quotation marks implies that while baking is a hobby of mine and something I once did for money, I do not actually know what I’m doing.

Sure, I’ve picked up some tips and tricks here and there, and I know the difference between French and Italian buttercream icings. (Have I made either successfully? Nope.) Which brings me to this weekend, when I broke down in a fit of desperation and turned to canned icing for help.

For those of us on the east coast, this Memorial Day weekend was a scorcher. Baltimore unfortunately missed out on spring completely, so I spent Memorial Day at my friend’s house floating in her pool and drinking orange whipped cream flavored vodka. In the spirit of the holiday, I still wanted to bake despite the heat, so I decided upon Orange Chiffon Cupcakes with Italian Buttercream. It sounded light and summery, and amazingly, I already had all the ingredients in my kitchen.

The cake came out beautifully. Maybe a little denser than expected, and they all sunk dramatically, but that’s to be expected with a dozen tiny soufflés. We can’t have it all.

The icing, however, was another story. I’m doomed to never have a successful egg based buttercream. The instant I added the butter to my fluffy egg white and sugar syrup concoction, the whole thing went to hell.

So, since I needed to salvage my dozen perfectly orange cakes, I turned to canned cream cheese icing. I’m not proud. In my defense, I would have simply sprinkled them with powdered sugar if they hadn’t fallen so dramatically. And I did top them with a little fresh orange zest to preserve my dignity. So I leave the icing to you, but here’s a perfectly summery cake recipe:

Orange Sizzlers

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Take 2 large egg whites (save the yolks) and beat them to fluffy peaks while adding 1/3 cup sugar and 1 tablespoon of vanilla. Place to the side. Now combine 2 cups cake flour with 1 cup sugar, 2 teaspoons baking powder, and ½ teaspoon salt. Then add 1 tablespoon of orange liqueur, 1 cup of half and half, ½ cup canola oil, the 2 egg yolks, and juice of one orange and the zest of 2 oranges. Once all is mixed, fold in the egg white mixture, careful not to collapse the egg whites. Spoon into a lined cupcake pan and bake for 18 minutes. Makes 12 cupcakes.

Top as you please.